Cognitive distortions are ways our mind convinces us of something untrue, usually to reinforce negative thinking or emotions. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions to some degree, but when they are frequent or severe, they can lead to mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Understanding and modifying distorted thinking requires practice and patience, but it is a profoundly beneficial skill that can enhance all areas of life. The following are 15 styles of distorted thinking, as well as examples and ways to address each one.

Recognising and Addressing 15 Styles of Distorted Thinking

All-or-Nothing (Black-and-White) Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, occurs when individuals perceive situations in extreme, either/or categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, it is considered an absolute failure. This is often linked to perfectionism.

Examples:

• If you don’t score 100% on a test, it’s a total failure.
• Viewing a day as ruined because of one adverse event.

Tips on challenging this thinking style:

• Practice viewing situations on a spectrum rather than as two opposites. Recognise that most experiences have both positive and negative elements.
• Challenge the validity of your extreme thoughts by asking yourself, “Are there really only two possible outcomes here?”
• Use “partially successful” instead of “total failure” to describe outcomes that don’t meet all expectations.

Overgeneralisation

Overgeneralisation occurs when you take one instance or example and assume it represents an overall pattern; a single adverse event is viewed as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Examples:

• Believing you’ll never be good at something because you failed once.
• Thinking that one person’s negative opinion reflects everyone’s view of you.

Strategies to provide a more balanced perspective:

• Look for exceptions to the rule. Recall instances that contradict your generalisation.
• Use more precise language: instead of “always” or “never,” say “sometimes” or “occasionally.”

Mental Filters

A Mental Filter is when you pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, thus perceiving the whole situation as unfavourable.

Examples:

• Focusing solely on a small critique in a generally positive review.
• Noticing only the one thing that went wrong on an otherwise great day.

How to broaden perspective:

• Make a conscious effort to notice and list the positive aspects of every situation.
• Challenge yourself to balance every negative thought with a positive one.

Disqualifying the Positive

This distortion involves dismissing positive experiences or attributes by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason.

Examples:

• Believing that success was due to luck rather than effort or skill.
• Dismissing compliments as people just being friendly or not meaning what they say.

Steps to acknowledge and accept positive experiences:

• Keep a gratitude journal where you write down positive things that happen each day.
• Practice accepting compliments gracefully instead of countering them with self-depreciation.

Jumping to Conclusions

Mind Reading

Assuming that you know what others think, usually something negative, without sufficient evidence.

Examples:

• Believing someone is silently judging you.
• Assuming a friend is upset with you because they haven’t replied to a message quickly.

Fortune Telling

Predicting outcomes negatively without evidence.

Examples:

• Being convinced you’ll perform poorly in an upcoming presentation.
• Assuming a relationship will fail before it even starts.

Techniques to avoid assumptions and predictions:

• Ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings instead of assuming what others think or how things will turn out.
• Challenge your predictions: How many times have similar predictions been wrong before?

Magnification and Minimisation

Magnification involves exaggerating the importance of problems or errors, while minimisation involves downplaying the significance of desirable qualities or achievements.

Examples:

• Magnification: Blowing a minor mistake out of proportion, believing it ruins an entire project.
• Minimisation: Shrugging off compliments about a well-executed project, focusing only on the areas that could be improved.

Methods to maintain proportionality in thinking:

• Practice “scaling” problems: On a scale from 1 to 10, how significant is this issue?
• Actively remind yourself of achievements and positive aspects in situations where you tend to minimise.
• Use balanced statements to describe events, acknowledging both good and bad components equally.

Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning is the false belief that your emotional state reflects the truth of a situation, such as feeling like a failure, concluding that you must be one.

Examples:

• Feeling overwhelmed and assuming it means the task is impossible.
• Feeling unloved and concluding that nobody cares about you.

Ways to distinguish feelings from facts:

• Question your emotions: “Just because I feel this way, does it mean it’s true?”
• Seek out objective evidence to confirm or refute your feelings.
• Practice mindfulness to observe emotions without immediately reacting to them.

Should Statements

Should statements involve placing rigid demands on yourself or others with words like “should,” “ought to,” or “must,” which can lead to frustration and disappointment.

Examples:

• “I should always be productive.”
• “People must treat me a certain way.”

Alternative motivational techniques:

• Replace “should” with “prefer”: It turns a demand into a desire, which reduces self-imposed pressure.
• Focus on personal values and goals as motivation rather than obligations.
• Use encouragement instead of criticism to motivate change in self-talk and speaking with others.

Labelling and Mislabelling

Labelling involves attaching a negative label to oneself or others based on one instance or event. Mislabelling is an extreme form of labelling with emotionally loaded language.

Examples:

• Labelling yourself as a “loser” because of a failed job interview.
• Calling someone an “idiot” because they made a mistake.

Importance of viewing behaviours rather than defining selves or others:

• Behaviour is situational and can change; labels imply something inherent and fixed.
• Recognise and challenge the habit of labelling. Instead, describe the specific behaviour that led to the negative reaction.
• Understand that everyone makes mistakes and that these do not define a person’s character or future potential.

Personalisation

Personalisation occurs when you hold yourself personally responsible for events that aren’t entirely under your control. This is a type of false guilt.

Examples:

• Believing a friend’s mood is due to something you did when they are actually upset about an unrelated issue.
• Thinking a meeting went poorly because of your contribution when many factors were involved.

How to avoid taking undue responsibility:

• Reflect on the situation and identify all factors involved. Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that this was entirely due to me?”
• Share your thoughts with others to get a reality check on your level of responsibility.
• Practice distinguishing between influence and control; acknowledge your role without overstating it.

Control Fallacies

Control fallacies manifest as either feeling externally controlled or having excessive control over external events and others’ feelings. External control thinking patterns are closely related to locus of control in general.

Examples:

• External Control: “I can’t help it if the traffic made me late.”
• Internal Control: “It’s my fault my parents got divorced because I was a difficult child.”

Balancing control in one’s life:

• Recognise what is and isn’t within your control. Accept that some things, like other people’s actions or feelings, are outside your control.
• Focus on areas where you can make a difference—adjusting your response to challenges and planning better for predictable issues.
• Use proactive behaviour where possible and reactive adjustments where necessary. This balance can help maintain a realistic sense of control.

Fallacy of Fairness

The fallacy of fairness is when you feel resentful because you think you know what is fair, but other people won’t agree with you.

Examples:

• Believing it’s unfair when someone else receives a promotion over you despite their comparable qualifications and effort.
• Feeling resentful because a friend cancels plans, interpreting it as a violation of fairness in the relationship.

Coping with life’s inherent unfairness:

• Acknowledge that life is not always fair and that fairness is subjective.
• Focus on your values and actions rather than external outcomes.
• Develop resilience by accepting and adapting to circumstances beyond your control.

Blaming

Blaming is holding others responsible for your emotional pain or, conversely, blaming yourself for every problem.

Examples:

• Blaming a colleague for your stress at work.
• Self-blame for not meeting a friend’s expectations despite having little control over the situation.

Shifting from blame to accountability:

• Identify what you can control and take responsibility for those elements.
• Use language reflecting ownership of your actions, such as “I have a role in this situation.”
• Practice seeing situations from multiple perspectives to understand different contributions to the outcome.

Always Being Right

This distortion involves believing that being wrong is unthinkable and that every argument must be won.

Examples:

• Arguing relentlessly because you perceive admitting fault as a sign of weakness.
• Ignoring contrary evidence in a discussion to maintain your stance.

Embracing humility and openness to others’ perspectives:

• Recognise the value of diverse viewpoints to broaden understanding and personal growth.
• Practice active listening and consider other people’s arguments before responding.
• Reflect on past discussions where you were wrong, and acknowledge how those moments led to learning and improvement.

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

This fallacy involves expecting your sacrifices and hard work to pay off as if some cosmic force keeps score.

Examples:

• Believing that enduring unhappiness at your job will lead to certain recognition or promotion.
• Expecting that sacrificing your needs for others will make them love and appreciate you more.

Realistic expectations about effort and outcomes:

• Accept that good outcomes are not guaranteed, even with hard effort and sacrifice.
• Focus on finding intrinsic rewards in your actions, such as personal satisfaction and growth.
• Set boundaries and maintain a balance between self-sacrifice and self-care.

Conclusion

Recognising and addressing cognitive distortions is crucial to achieving mental wellbeing and emotional balance. If left unchecked, these 15 styles of distorted thinking can skew our perceptions of reality, fuel negative emotions, and hinder our relationships and personal growth. By becoming aware of these patterns, we empower ourselves to challenge and modify our thoughts, leading to healthier and more realistic perspectives.